Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize