I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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