GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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