That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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