I'm drive I can fine osifer
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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