Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
this hospital has no fireball
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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