The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
