my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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