yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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