you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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