So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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