Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
