We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
