First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
