You can't special order awesome
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's never too late to be topless.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
