For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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