So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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