I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize