Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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