I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
