She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
we should paint friendship bongs
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize