yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
