Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
