wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
