A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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