Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
