dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
