did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
