talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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