I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
