Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I intend to get homeless drunk
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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