please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
