Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
