So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
