I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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