Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
