im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
