My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Congratulations! We have a period
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
