Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
