okay pat passed out under dana's car
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize