I forgot how hot balto sounded
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
