I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
