i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
