Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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