you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
