Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
