Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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