I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
