Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize