You're my little dorito
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
