Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
