It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
All I want is dick and wine.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
