If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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