so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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