i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
