dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
