My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
