No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
