i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
