i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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