Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
