I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize