What a fucking waste of an outfit
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
