Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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