Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
