I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
