I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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