I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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